On the Bank Holiday weekend, we sallied forth to Mr Toast’s homeland of North Yorkshire. Whilst in the region, we decided to visit Dalby. Well, it would be rude not to.

I should point out that Dalby and I don’t have a very happy history. We went there last year, and I hired a bike from Purple Mountain. The bike, a Kona Fire Mountain (I think), was pretty poorly maintained with a fork that just would not move, and the blue trail was fairly dull – pretty similar to the green trails around Cannock Chase, except for the tricky zig zagging ascent at the start.

Well, I was determined that I’d approach it with an open mind. Being realistic, I knew that there was no way I could do the full red, which clocks in at about 24 miles. Mr Toast however, was itching to give it a go and put his Commencal Meta 5.5 (henceforth known as ‘The Grasshopper’) through its paces. The cunning plan was that I’d do the most of the blue route, and a small part of the red route at the end. So, as we reached the top of the zig zagging hill, we went our separate ways – Mr Toast down the scary steps of the red, and me up the gentle uphill of the blue.

The first niggle that I had was that as I came to a junction, there were no signs as to which way the blue route went. There was a downhill fire road to the left, and two uphill paths – a fire road and something a little rockier – to the right. I took the rockier one, thinking it would be more interesting. It wasn’t really, it wasn’t particularly interesting – just a long, steep uphill, leading to more fire road.

I stuck at it, eventually picking up some blue arrows at various points. Most of the ride was pleasant enough, but fire roads…meh. The long, straight uphill sections were a pain in the arse (well, the knees), and so dull. But there were some very bizarre sections, where I’d find a blue arrow pointing down a very steep hill – far steeper than anything I’ve tried at Cannock Chase, even on Follow the Dog. Fortunately, they were fairly suitable for noobs – there were no roots or rocks to contend with, it was just a matter of getting the weight back and steering!

These were by far the most fun parts of the ride…but sadly there was only two of them, lasting 3 minutes in total, tops. 🙁

I’m still not sure if I actually did the blue route – the markers I were following were a white circle with a squat blue arrow on, but at one point I came to a sign next to one of the markers saying ‘If you are following the blue route, you have taken a wrong turn’! Makes me wonder if the signs I followed were just generic bridleway markers. At one point I followed them up a steep hill…then up another steep hill…then up a steep uphill road…and then there was a t-junction with no signs at all. On the plus side, doing the 20 minutes uphill journey in reverse in less than 5 minutes was fun!

I should probably learn to read a map, or something.

I never actually went on the red, as I was worried about getting lost, and also about the capability of the bike I had hired, again from Purple Mountain. It was an upgrade from last year (this one was a Kona Blast Deluxe), but the fork was still very, very stiff. The perils of riding a standard ‘man’s’ bike with a cheap not-really-very-adjustable fork, I suppose. It’s a shame, because otherwise the bike was a good fit.

I did ask about hiring a full suspension (a Kona King Kikapu), but alas, the smallest they did was a 16″, which was a bit too long for me. 🙁 I think it was a good job I didn’t attempt the Dalby red though, as Mr Toast said that parts of it were very tough – even on the Grasshopper! Given that I still pootle around Follow the Dog at a rather sedate pace, I should probably get my skills (and fitness) up before I try Dalby.

Ride: Dalby

Trail: Dalby….blue. I think…

Highlights: Some awesome views and the sense of exploring, some exciting steep downhill bits of trail

Bad bits: Dreary, dreary fire roads, and a general lack of signage for the Blue route. Oh, and the café running out of milk.

Post ride food snaffled: Chocolate chip cookie

Good dogs seen: Some charmingly elegant spaniels, and a trio of Cairne terriers (each one a different colour).

Yesterday’s ride was awesome. Today’s ride was rubbish, as I forgot the ibuprofen. Still, I got a couple of sections in – didn’t spend all day, as I took my mother shopping in the morning, abandoning Mr Toast to his own devices for several hours. His ‘own devices’ consisted of three laps of FTD, and the first couple of sections with me before my knees gave in.

I had such an AWESOME time today. I think it’s the best I’ve ever ridden, seriously. I did an entire lap of Follow the Dog, and I think I actually shaved a good 10 minutes off my previous best time.

I made sure I was dosed up on ibuprofen, and set off. First section – didn’t stop once, and took all of the berms. Second section I took less well, and nearly flew off like a tard at the end of the bridge (didn’t slow down enough/turn fast enough). Third section I took fairly well, although I avoided the boardwalk due to there being an instructional class walking up and down it – they did say ‘go ahead’, but I didn’t want to do the boardwalk with an audience!

Then there was the fireroad hill. God, I hate it so much, and sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever manage to get up it on a bike. Mr Toast has suggested that I should promise myself a new bike for when I finally manage it. I may have my Trek for some time…

But the fun part of long uphills is that there’s inevitably downhills. I decided to take the older, shorter section instead of the new one, and I was glad I did. I used to avoid this section, as the first time I went down it, I came off. Twice. It terrified me. Today, I flew down it – admittedly, I nearly came a cropper on one berm, but I was impressed (and surprised) at how much I had improved.

The woody sections leading up to Section 13 were also a lot of fun, but tiring, especially on the knees, although I actually (drumroll please!) overtook someone! Section 13…a lot of fun, as usual, and I really did go hell for leather (by my standards, anyway). I laid almost completely off the brakes, got right out of the saddle, I remembered Mr Toast’s tip about angling my feet so they wouldn’t bounce off the pedals on the bumps.

Before Section 13, I was thinking, “I’m feeling a bit iffy, I’ll do Section 13, then head back.” After Section 13, I was re-energised, and decided that stopping was actually the worst idea ever. To Ill Phil’s Hill!

I was ropey on the uphills (ok, ok, I put the ‘push’ into ‘push bike), but on the downhills – again, I got right back off the saddle, laid off the brakes and flew down. I also went stupidly fast (for me) on the wooded section after Ill Phil’s Hill.

So, I felt a lot more confident and speedy, but my fitness is still causing me to take long breaks. Got to get that fixed.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Doing all of Follow the Dog faster and better than I ever had before. Taking bits which I used to be terrified of with ease. Basking in the smug glow of self-improvement.

Bad bits: None, apart from my appalling lack of fitness!

Post ride food snaffled: Chocolate shortbread.

Good dogs seen: Oh god, where to begin? Numerous Jack Russels, including Zack (I think – the dog who FTD is named after), and two tiny, adorable dalmation puppies. SO SWEET!

I should also point out that, as good as my performance was today, Mr Toast actually did two laps in the time it took me to do one.

Spent rather a lot of time up the Chase today. It was a Singletrack demo day, so I tool the opportunity to try out some new rides – the Specialized Safire Expert, and the Giant Anthem W.

Got to Birches Valley just after 11am and the carpark was PACKED. It took two circuits before we were lucky enough to drop on a space – I’ve never seen it that busy before! The first bike I tested was the Specialized. The Specialized guys were great, really thorough in setting the bike up for me, making sure the rear shock and forks were of the appropriate squodginess, and explaining how they worked and the different settings (knowledge which I needed, as I have a hardtail with a basic fork). They even got a different saddle for me with a shorter seatpost, as I tend to have mine so low because of being a noob.

The Safire rolled really nicely, and the suspension was smooth as butter. However, I was a bit disheartened that it had the turning circle of a rusty piano. At the time I thought I’d somehow forgotten how to steer, but Mr Toast explained to me that they do turn slowly because of the ‘slack head angle’. Again, the handlebars were quite a bit wider than I’m used to, so it did feel very sluggish on tight corners. I think it’d just be a matter of getting used to it, perhaps – the long swooping sections were awesome fun.

Unfortunately, we arrived at the Chase late, and as mentioned earlier, the Specialized guys were very particular, so it meant I had less than half an hour on the bike. I would have loved to have taken it on Section 13 or Ill Phil’s Hill, but only managed the first three sections. But I wanted to get it back so it wasn’t late for the next person, and in any case, I had the Giant booked. 🙁

Which brings me to the Giant Anthem W. The Giant stand was quite amusing, with a forlorn-looking Basset Hound called ‘Wilma’ moping around. Wilma was being kept under close supervision, as apparently she had earlier gorged herself on the stand’s supply of Nutrigrain bars. The bikes were also named, rather than numbered. The standard bikes were called things like ‘Trixie’ and ‘Roxy’, whereas the women’s bikes were more sensible named ‘Albert’ and ‘Alfie’. I was waiting for Alfie. And I kept waiting.

Wilma, the Giant Dog

Unfortunately, Alfie came in over half and hour late thanks to his previous rider, which meant that after the bike had been cleaned and set up, I had twenty minutes on it. The Giant chap confidently assured me that the Giant Anthem had better suspension than the Safire, and that I’d find it more responsive. He also mocked how low my saddle had been on the Safire. “Your knees were be up by your ears!” I explained that I have the saddle low as I’m fairly new to mountain biking, so want to be able to get my feet down quickly, plus I find it easier to move my weight* around with a lower saddle. He didn’t seem convinced.

The Giant…well, me and the Anthem didn’t make friends. I felt a bit more comfortable with the geometry than the Safire, and the handlebars were narrower, like my Trek. However, the thing road like an epileptic donkey. It was very, very twitchy, and I found taking tight corners even tricker than the Safire, but for the opposite reason. The bike was also skidding and sliding all over the place, and I thought, ‘Holy crap, I haven’t felt this uncomfortable on a bike since I first started biking’. As I finished the test ride, I realised that the source of my woes was probably that the tyres were pumped to a far higher pressure than I’m used to, as well as being narrower. I think someone who’s more experienced and a lot speedier would probably get more out of it than I did, but I was just left pining for my £400 hardtail.

The café was packed, so my lunch consisted of a lonely Tunnock’s Teacake. 🙁

In the afternoon I did the Dirt Divas course. If you’re thinking about doing one of these, DO IT! It was fantastic – I was in the intermediate group with Jacqueline, and I learnt a surprising amount in two hours, and performed my first (very small) jump over a branch. Unfortunately, after a morning of intense test riding, my already feeble levels of fitness started to flag, and my knees were KILLING me. I’ll definitely do a Dirt Divas course again, but I’ll wait until I’ve upped my fitness levels first! I went to the café, utterly paggered, for a slice of cake and a nice cup of tea.

I desperately wanted to sit down and to drink a non-Camelbak beverage, as I’d started to feel rather nauseous, but I was waiting for my tea. Unfortunately, it took a while, and I ended up throwing up. In public. In the café. On the plus side, I actually managed to hide it as a cough, contained it in my hand, and grabbed some serviettes. Stealth vomiting skills – a new talent!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Dirt Divas training session, trying out different full suspensions, pushing myself to the very limits of my fitness

Bad bits: Pushing myself the limits of my fitness to the point where I throw up in public, having my Anthem test ride time cut very short thanks to some cow returning it late.

Post ride food snaffled: Lemon drizzle cake

Good dogs seen: Just Wilma, I think

You may recall I mentioned that Mr Toast was keeping his eye out on an Orange 5 on Ebay. Well, it kind of played out like this:

1) Mr Toast bid on the bike. He then went on a bike ride, thinking he’d be able to keep check on the auction with his snazzy 3g phone. Sadly, there’s no signal in Cannock Chase, so he couldn’t.

2) Mr Toast found out he’d been out bid…by £1. He was a bit put out.

3) Mr Toast put a thread up on Bike Radar, to see if anyone was flogging an Orange 5. Someone responded – they were selling their Orange 5 to fund an upgrade to a Nomad. The spec was remarkably similar to the one Mr Toast had missed out on, but a 2006 instead of a 2004, and a slightly worse headset. They were also asking £450 more than the bike Mr Toast had missed out on.

4) Mr Toast asked questions, and started to get suspicious. As it turned out…IT WAS THE SAME BIKE! The cheeky sod had outbid Mr Toast on Ebay, removed the Chris King headset, then tried to flog the bike as a newer model at a much higher cost!

Mr Toast was distinctly unimpressed and told him where to go. He still doesn’t have an Orange 5. 🙁

OK, so the BBC were right this time. Woke up Sunday morning to find everywhere under a blanket of snow. But we decided to go biking anyway!

Needless to say, it was again ‘a bit nippy’, but it was also a lot of fun. I actually did a full lap of FTD, including the new section at the top of the fire road hill. Most of the sections I really enjoyed, and felt I put in a passable performance.

Unfortunately on the new section my confidence took a bit of a knock – I took the first two jumps fine, mainly because I wasn’t expecting them. However, I bottled it on the following jumps (as I was looking out them). It’s something I’ve noticed a lot – there are obstacles that I have trouble with mentally (berms, jumps), but if I don’t think about them too much I can do them. Weird.

I also started to panic that I was holding people up…and I didn’t much fancy someone’s front wheel parking itself in my arsecrack. It’s quite difficult to get up much speed when you’re looking out for people behind rather than at the track ahead! That said, I had a great time on all the other sections, and everything’s a learning experience – I remember last year that I felt pretty similar on most of the sections!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Doing all of Follow the Dog for the first time this year. Biking in ze mud! My Camelbak not tasting like a swimming pool. And section 13, oh how I’ve missed thee!

Bad bits: Losing my bottle on the new section.

Post ride food snaffled: Bacon sandwich, chocolate shortbread.

Good dogs seen: Er, none. Think they were all curled up by the fire, nice and cosy.

Well, nice to see that the BBC weather report is as accurate as ever. There we were, bracing ourselves for cold, windy conditions, with heavy rain…and instead we got blue skies, a calm breeze, and a decent temperature. Nice.

Tried out an Orange Diva, and it was startlingly different from my Trek. For a start, Oranges just look HUGE. They bought out the 14″ Diva, and I thought it was Mr Toast’s bike!

I sat on it, and it bizarrely felt like I was riding a Harley. The handle bars were quite a bit wider to what I’m used to, but I actually kind of liked it – it felt like I had a bit more control when turning. Whether I’d still like the wider bars when going through the narrow tree-lined sections of the Follow the Dog, I don’t know! Brakes were fairly hilarious, as I nearly faceplanted the first time I used them. Yes, £280 hydraulic brakes are a bit more bitey than the V-brakes that I’m used to. So good though, being able to brake with the slightest pressure from one finger, instead three (or four, if it’s wet!). Quite scary that just the brakes on the Diva are nearly two-thirds of the cost of my current bike!

It would have been nice if I could have tried the Diva out over trails that I’m familiar with (OK, Follow the Dog), as I could have got more of an idea of how riding a full suspension compares to my hardtail. I’ll get that chance when I go to the Singletrack demo day at Cannock Chase next month – I’ll be riding a Giant Anthem and a Specialized Safire, but it would be nice to take an Orange as well. Hmmm….

Mr Toast was quite taken with his Orange 5, and I think is now trying to justify why he needs three bikes. He uses fabulous reasoning like ‘I ride lots!’ and ‘I deserve it!’

Ride: Woburn Sands

Trail: Er, various, just rode where there weren’t ‘No cycling’ signs. Not really familiar with the area, so I don’t think we found the best trails.

Highlights: Trying out a new bike, and a different trial. Going hell for leather down a hill and not worrying about rocks or roots.

Bad bits: Not taking any ibuprofen, so my knees rapidly swelled up like balloons, slightly reducing my enjoyment of the day. The deep sandy and muddy bits paggering my already battered knees!

Post ride food snaffled: Pub meal at the Malt Shovel!

Good dogs seen: Bit of a disappointing haul, quite frankly – there was a Cairne terrier and a wire haired jack russel, but that was about it.

But they are rather nice bikes. Going to test the Orange Five Diva on Sunday. As per usual, the weather for this weekend looks like it’s going to be complete crap, but that’s probably for the best, as Oranges go rather well with mud. I’ve seen quite a few zipping around Follow the Dog, and it’ll be interesting to see how the single pivot Diva compares to the more conventional Giants and Specialized I’ll be trying out next month.

Friday – it was a bit nippy. Maybe the weather would be nicer some other day in the Easter weekend?
Saturday – organising wedding stuff
Sunday – weather forcast was a bit grim. Weather didn’t actually seem that bad, but we stayed in. Maybe the weather would be better on Monday?

Monday – the weather report said sunny. The sky said differently. Still, we were sick of being in the house, and wanted to get biking, so we gritted our teeth, strapped the bikes on the bike, and headed out to the Chase.

Then it started snowing. It was, indeed, a bit nippy.

The hour drive was dark, grey, and gifted with flurries of snow. Got to Cannock Chase…and huzzah! The sun came out! Thank you, BBC weather report, you are occassionally right!

I expected my knees to play up (as they tend to in low temperatures), and was generally expecting to find riding to be a bit miserable and grim, but bugger me…perhaps it was because I was pre-tanked on ibuprofen, but I really enjoyed it!

Anyhoo, here’s my first ride report:

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: First 3 sections of Follow the Dog, various green tracks

Highlights: On my first circuit, taking the first section without hesitation, even managing the berms with relatively little trouble. On the second circuit I managed to climb up the steep slippy hill on the second section, which I ballsed up on my first circuit. Deliberately plowing through puddles and mud pits in an effort to make me look like a real mountain biker! Seeing a little sausage dog chasing a ball.

Bad bits: Cocking up the hill on the second section on my first circuit. Chickening out of the boardwalk, which I’ve done loads of times before, but just felt a bit cowardly. On my second circuit, I nearly lost control of my bike and went into a tree – managed to stay on though. Stupid congregation of walkers and their pack of dogs insisting on blocking the entrance to the second section, forcing bikers to plough through loads of undergrowth to bypass them. Appparently aforementioned stupid congregation decided to walk the dogs on Follow the Dog. Oh dear.

Post ride food snaffled: Bacon sandwich

Good dogs seen: Minature daschund, English Bull Terrier, chipper Jack Russels.