18/05/2012 by Missus Toast.

Sorry about the title, but I thought it’d give me an ideal opportunity to publically state how much I hate BT’s new advertising campaign.  I thought the last one was odious enough, but the current one makes me want to throw things at the TV.  Large, heavy things.  It’s like their marketing department is actively trying to annoy me.

Dangerously back on topic, last weekend I rode Follow the Dog twice.  I was toying with the idea of the Monkey, but decided that I just wanted to relax and have fun.  It was sunny, surprisingly dry, and I was going at a good pace (for me), so I decided to see if I could get a good lap time in.  First lap clocked in at around 55 minutes, although I could have shaved another couple off if there hadn’t been congestion at Werewolf Drop.  I overtook seven people, and was only overtaken by one.  This is either a sign of great progress, or a sign that the trails were surprisingly quiet.

I actually found the fireroad hill a bit more of a slog than usual, quickly going into granny ring.  I think I’ve said it before, but I think I find it much harder when it’s dry.  In a way it might have been a blessing, as my knees weren’t quite as knackered as when I try and push it in middle ring.  Still makes me nervous for Mountain Mayhem, as it’s considerably more climby and hilly.

Amusingly, I lowered my forks to 100mm for the climb, then promptly forgot to raise them back to 12omm for the rest of the trail.  Cornering seemed very nice, not sure if that was down to the fork travel or down to just having a good day.

Ended up back at Swinnertons and chatted to some of the Chase Trails chaps for a bit before setting out for my second lap.  By the time I got to section 9 I started to feel knackered, and the lap as a whole felt a lot slower - slower on the section itself, more pulling over to let people by, and longer drink breaks at the end of the sections.  Despite that, I still came in at just under one hour five minutes, so I was quite pleased, and also a bit surprised.

I managed to ride the switchbacks before Werewolf both times, so that’s a definite improvement.

Rather alarmingly, a bike was nicked from Birches Valley the same day - this is always a worry of mine, as when I ride alone I have to leave my bike unattended if I want to go to the loo.  You know Freud banged on about Penis Envy?  That’s why - no practical way of relieving yourself in a neat and tidy manner, even She Wees have horror stories.

ANYHOO, I always lock up my bike to a nearby fence, but I still worry that some scrote could cut the lock and nab the bike fairly swiftly.  Fortunately, thanks to a combination of suspicious locals and hardy northern folk, one scrote was thwarted in his efforts.  Despite evidently spending hours (Mr Toast had seen him the previous day and thought he looked a bit dodgy) scoping out bikes, he decided to nick one belonging to a group of 20 odd riders.  So if you see this chap:

…remember to congratulate him on his awesome decision making skills.  Whilst holding onto your bike, obviously.

So that’s one less thief, but it’s unclear as to whether his Astra-driving mate was caught - if he’s part of a gang, then people should still be vigilant.  Well, you should be vigilant anyway - bikes are more than just a possession to most of our kind.  They’re our pride and joy, providing us with thrills and fitness whilst allowing us to explore the great outdoors… or just go around trail centres repeatedly.  It’s all good.  Don’t let a scrote take that away, or at the very least, don’t make it easy for them.  Lock it up!

Posted in Whinging, Mountain Mayhem, Mountain Biking | No Comments »

07/05/2012 by Missus Toast.

I’ve been a bit slack on the blogging front lately, although that’s also down to the fact I’ve been a bit slack on the biking front too.  I’ve been biking into work on a daily basis, often even when it’s pissing it down, but I’ve found it hard to get out at the weekends.  Partly down to feeling a bit off, and partly down to family commitments.  This time of year is always a bit miserable for me as it’s the time of year when my dad died, and the weather - not helping.

I really want to get across the country - I want to hit Coed-Y-Brenin, Llandegla, Nant-yr-Arian, the Peak District, the Forest of Dean… but it’s a bit hard to muster the enthusiasm for a six hour round trip when it’s cold and wet.   We were hoping for some long weekends, but Mr Toast is finding it hard to even get the odd Friday off with his current workload.  We’ve not even managed our usual Easter trip  Ooop North to Dalby.

My knee has been playing up a bit again, so I’m off to see the doctor about whether a knee brace would be beneficial.  I quite like the look of the pricey but awesome Asterisk Knee Braces - supposedly good for people with ligament issues, looks very adjustable and doubles up as armour.  I’m just a bit reluctant to make the investment without knowing whether it’s definitely suitable for my knee injury, and what if they’re too heavy or uncomfortable for me?

I can tell that Mountain Mayhem is coming ever closer, as on Saturday night I had my first MM Anxiety Dream of the year.  I dreamt that I was riding, soaking wet under torrential rain, struggling in the mud and hating every second of it.  So, not so much a dream, more of a reminiscence.  I’m hoping my mother’s theory of weather proves true - “We’ve got to have a good summer!  We’re owed some good weather!”

On the plus side, what little off-road riding I’ve done lately has been moderately successful. For a start…

The Monkey!

Yes, it’s been well over a year since I’d ridden the Monkey, but I finally plucked up the courage to give it a go last month.  Despite my unfamiliarity with The Monkey (I’d only ridden it something like five times previously), it went better than expected.  My fitness was better than it has been in the past, and I wasn’t lying on the floor screaming with painful leg cramps, so that was a definite improvement.  My knees were objecting quite violently to the steeper climbs, and I had to stop to let the pain lessen a few times, and also probably took far more ibuprofen than is recommended.

I gave a few of the trail features a miss - I decided not to test my 50% success score on the pre-Klondike rocks, and also gave Woodbank a miss.  I was going to do it - I went to have a look, thought, “Oh, it looks easier than the start of section two”, and let a group pass.  The last fella in the group then prompty completely ballsed up, clipping his right handlebar grip on the tree and twisting his front wheel, sending him crashing in spectacular fashion.

Yeah, I’ll give that one a miss for today.

I also pretty much walked most of the Monkey-section of the Monkey.  This is probably going to sound a bit harsh, but it’s probably my least-liked bit of trail I’ve ever ridden in any trail centre.  It leaves me miserable and demoralised, with its stupid narrow trees and rock gardens, and I struggle to think of any part of it I actually like.  OK, I did have a brief moment of confidence boosting when I looked at the second rock garden, the only one I’ve ever ridden, and marvelled that I’d ridden that.  Admittedly it was before there was a huge gouge ripped down the right hand side, but still.

Being a bit of a pessimist though, that thought was soon crushed by the knowledge that there was no way I’d ride that again. The day that I rode that I’d been having a particularly good day, taking lots of risks that paid off… until I came off on the fireroad, stripped off a good bit of skin, broke my helmet and ended up on a heavy course of antibiotics.  I still bear the scars.   Pfft.  Be an overly cautious coward and live to ride another day, that’s what I say!

Went out on Saturday for the first time in weeks and rode the Dog.  Despite the good conditions, I ended up going a bit slower than usual, clocking in at one hour ten minutes - although I think a good five minutes of that was trying to wrestle my thermal jacket into my Camelbak.

Hoping to get out with increased frequency before Mountain Mayhem.  I need to improve my fitness, try and get my knees more used to climbing, and, my personal favourite, also have to get Benny used to camping… or its going to be a very, very tiring weekend.

Posted in Minor Bun Engine Benny Lava, Whinging, Sleepless in the Saddle, Mountain Mayhem, Mountain Biking | No Comments »

06/03/2012 by Missus Toast.

I set out on Saturday with the intention of doing two laps of Follow the Dog.  With Mountain Mayhem and Sleepless both firm realities now, I need to get more miles in, need to get back up to speed and get my fitness to something slightly above embarrassing.

Despite the forecast predicting only light showers and sunny skies throughout the day, I arrived just as a downpour was starting.  I quickly got my bike off the rack and set of in pursuit of mountain biking excellence.

It didn’t start well.  First section seemed unduly slippy and annoying, and I had to come to an abrupt, precarious halt on the exit to two as a small child from a walking group that had stopped to let me exit decided to do a runner.  I shuffled the bike down, slightly shaken - it would have been a remarkably low speed collision if it had happened, but I don’t like to think who would win out of an 11 and a half stone woman on a lump of aluminum and a three year old.  On the plus side, his mother apologised and thanked me for not ploughing into her wayward progeny.  And that’s why you don’t come screaming out of sections at warp speed.

The lap continued to be a royal pain in the arse.  Everything just felt very skittish, and I began to wonder if I’d somehow lost all ability over two weeks, or maybe the Orange 5 had ruined me with its comedy wide bars.  The litany of ineptitude was unrelenting and horrible.  I realised at the start of the fireroad climb up to 8 that I had my rear shock completely locked out, so I was hoping that perhaps that could explain the horror.  I completely failed to exit section 8 twice, as every time I approached it my front wheel hit the same pebble and poinged off to the side.  I nearly came a cropper on the most inconspicious of corners.  On section 11, I managed to clear the two smaller steps, albeit with some rear wheel spinning on the second, but by the time I got to the bigger steps, I just couldn’t arsed.  I was riding rubbish, and I had a persistant stabbing pain in my left knee. I eventually bowled up at Swinnertons feeling fairly surly.

Jez was there, so I had a good whinge at him, and soon he was joined by other members of the Chase Trails posse.  Andrew asked about my tyre pressure, and gave them a squeeze.  There was then much laughter, and theorising that Al (who had recently switched my wheels for his spare Hope/DT Swiss combo) was trying to kill me.  Something like minus 20 psi later and my tyres were noticably squidgier.

I’d been pondering the second lap.  Obviously I’d set out with the intention of doing two laps, but I’d had a terrible ride and my knee was a bit stabby. But the weather had finally turned nice, and… well, it would have been rude not to try. I decided to do at least the first section, to see if matters improved with less pressure.  I’d probably only do the first section or so, as I’d promised my mom I’d pop in and I had a roast dinner to cook in the evening.

Lap two felt better - I’m assuming it was thanks to the lowered pressure rather than the trails drying off, but I was skidding about the place a lot less, so felt able to go faster and lean into turns without fear of the Professor deciding to go his own way.  The exit to two was still a bit shakey as I clipped my pedal as I went down, but other than that - splendid.  Less poinging off pebbles, exiting section 8…OK, it took me two attempts as I clipped my pedal again, but I had to keep telling myself that I couldn’t get a mental neurosis over something I’ve ridden countless times just because the weather’s a bit grim.  After successfully clearing the exit and chastising myself for being a bit stupid, I took a few moments to take a photo of the Professor with his new red grips.

Section 11 was a bit of a revelation - all steps taken with no skidding, spinning, or slipping.  IN YOUR FACE, UPHILL STEPS! By the time I got to Tackaroo, however, I started to feel a bit off.  My knee hadn’t played up as much on the second lap, but I was starting to develop a bit of an ache in my left arm for no real reason, and my thighs were protesting.  Still, aching from “Oh, exercise!” is better than pain from “You’re fundamentally broken on a genetic level”.  I was also feeling a bit woozy, possibly because it was about 3pm and I’d only had a bowl of cereal, a cup of tea and two bottles of water that day, which for a cake fiend such as myself is a bit of a break from routine.  Although not really on biking days - I always end up eating less on biking days than on workdays.

According to Dave and Andrew, who caught me up at the end of Hugh’s Bridge, I’d done my second lap in roughly an hour (they’d given me about a 20 minute headstart).  So, that was better than a poke in the eye with a horrible stick.  Incidentally, it was Dave’s birthday at the weekend.  You should totally help him out trailbuilding on Sunday to celebrate.  I’m pondering if we can get Benny to carry materials and tools like a small pack donkey, but I have my doubts.

After my second lap I rushed around my mother’s to say hello, and to steal her bacon.  She didn’t have any bacon.  She did have chicken soup though, so that wasn’t too bad.

Posted in Whinging, Sleepless in the Saddle, Mountain Mayhem, Mountain Biking | No Comments »

14/01/2012 by Missus Toast.

I’ve still not managed to get biking this year, as the dreaded lurgy has struck once more.  Fortunately it’s more of a headachey, passy outy nauseated sort of lurgy rather than a chest infection, so hopefully it’ll pass.  It’s been lingering for two weeks now, stopping me from getting over the Chase. :(  We’re hoping to get over there tomorrow, albeit with me on two legs rather than biking.  Benny seems to be calming a bit around other dogs, but is still obsessed with crows, magpies and squirrels.

In a bit of good news, I’ve started Weight Watchers again, despite their buttock clenchingly awful efforts at ‘gamification’, and am pleased to report that I lost 3.5lbs in my first week.  According the NHS’s BMI calculator, this takes me down from being clinically obese to being merely overweight.  Yay! \o/

Only 26lbs to go…

Posted in Whinging, Who ate all the pies?, Stuff | No Comments »

10/10/2011 by Missus Toast.

Regular readers will know that, for the past two years, I’ve spent most of the winter suffering from a recurring chest infection.  I was hoping that this winter I’d manage to avoid it, but last week I started to feel a bit iffy.  I actually had to have some time off work as I sweated, coughed and snuffled, hoping that I’d feel better by the weekend.  I didn’t.  Instead, I spent most of the weekend sleeping, with occasional breaks in my busy sleeping schedule to watch Fringe, Supernatural, and to make pathetic whimpering noises at Mr Toast.

Izzy from PR has an interesting theory.  We work in the games industry, where women make up a paltry 6% of the dev force.  This means we are surrounded by men.  The theory is this:  by such excessive exposure to men, we have become susceptible to man-flu.  And thinking about it, it’s the only possible explanation - when I was younger, I would have laughed in your face if you’d suggested I’d be taking time off work because of a cold.  A bit snuffly?  Sore throat?  Hacking cough?  Headache? Pah!  Deal with it!  Nowadays I get a cold and it feels like I’m one step away from shuffling off the mortal coil.

So, no biking this weekend.  Biked into work this morning and am currently ‘interestingly phlegmy’. Hard to believe it was only the weekend before we were biking in Wales in the glorious warmth.

In an effort to improve my health, I’m also trying to lose weight.  I’m hoping that public shame will help motivate me, so… I’m currently 11 stone 4, trying to get to sub-10 stone.  I’ve always struggled with my weight - being 5ft 2 means that I don’t have a huge margin for error, and I really, really like cake.  And cheese.  And I hate fruit.  To give you an idea of how much I hate fruit - if there’s a dessert, an ice-cream sundae, or a cheesecake, for example - and it has been soiled with fruit, I will shove the fruit off to the side, grimacing.  Rasperries?  Strawberries?  Blueberries?  Bleugh!  And why ruin a good crumble with apple?

Yes, I’m aware that my hatred of fruit and my chronic immune system may not be entirely unrelated…

And on another unrelated note, some trailbuilders in Sandwell are trying to secure funding to built some trails.  You should vote for them! The more legal trails that are about, the more people can get introduced to mountain biking, which is ace.

Posted in Whinging, Who ate all the pies?, Trail building, Mountain Biking | 3 Comments »