Bit of a ropey day, this one.  As Mr Toast and I were heading Oop North to his cousin’s wedding, we couldn’t get our normal amount of biking in.  However, we couldn’t go a weekend without biking, so we went to the Chase and hired some bikes for a quick pootle around Follow the Dog.

Being a bit of a shortarse, I couldn’t go on a full suspension, or even on a Trek 6 series, so I went around on a Trek 4 series.  It suffered from the usual issues of me riding a bloke’s bike – the saddle was uncomfortable, and the forks practically imovable.  Yet it really wasn’t too bad, and I kind of liked the slightly wider bars.  Mr Toast was a bit disgruntled with his bike, as it wasn’t particularly well set up for a perfectionist like himself.

Well, I came a cropper almost from the start – did the first section fine, went to do the second section…and skidded on the rock at the very start.   I capsized sideways, am now sporting a large painful bruise to my left leg…and landed face first in a bunch of nettles.  Fortunately I didn’t swell up too badly, but it really shook my confidence, which was already a bit ropey for being on a hire bike.  Got back on a more even keel towards the end, but sadly quite a bit of the trail was closed today. 🙁

Bah, I failed to update my blog for the rides on the weekend 17th/18th May. I was fairly pleased, although I did have a few steering issues – I kept ballyhooing into trees for no good reason. I saw some deer though, nomming leaves and being generally bambi-like.

Aaanyhoo, I had a rather splendid ride this weekend gone. It was by far by fastest lap, and that was including ‘the new section’ at the top of the fireroad hill. We thought the weather was going to be proper grim, as it was pissing it down on the journey there. But we got to the mystical land of Rugeley, then onto the trail, and lo…the sun came out.

On the first section, I took all the berms at the end without stopping or overshooting them – I normally come a bit of a cropper on the last one. Second section was pretty much the same as usual, with the exception of a rather sheepish looking couple with a border collie, who had evidently wondered onto Follow the Dog by mistake. Third section I was faster than usual, although I still get TERRIFIED on the boardwalk (no butterflies this time though). Had to take my waterproof jacket off at this point, as I was boiling to death.

Got up the fireroad hill without too much trouble, although I’ve tried to cut down my ibuprofen consumption, so my knees were groaning a little.

The new section is great now that I’m getting a little more confidence. I managed to get around the entire thing, not only not stopping, but also not catching my feet, pedals, or any other limbs on owt. Doesn’t sound like much, but it is to me! Took all of the jumps and the log bit at the end. Nice.

Did the woody section very fast*. As the trail was fairly quiet, I wasn’t stopping between sections to let people pass or go ahead of me. I actually got airborne at one point, and let out an involuntary ‘Whhheeee!’ (as in the verbal exclamation, not body fluid…). I’m not entirely sure how or why, and I had to look around to make sure no-one heard me. I think it’s a side-effect of mountain biking – I think if you could have captured that moment on camera, you could have made a lolpicture and captioned it ‘Joy’.

Felt a bit battered on Ill Phil’s Hill, and went crazy fast* on the wooded section after that. Did the last section, was bemused by a strange whizzing noise until I noticed the man on the zip wire above (Go Ape’s just opened). All in all, a good day.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Again, the entire thing.

Bad bits: Nothing!

Post ride food snaffled: Bacon sandwich and a flapjack thing that had stealth raisins 🙁

Good dogs seen: Where to start? I think it’s proof that good dogs = good ride. Saw a sweet Jack Russel having a bit of a shout in a car, THEN a minature schnauzer! And it got better! A husky! And then, the masterpiece…

Yes, I do believe that’s a Border Terrier. And it’s a Border Terrier with a puppy! Everyone knows a thing, accompanied by a smaller version of that thing, is always cute

I nearly fell off the boardwalk trying to avoid a butterfly.

Twas a good weekend, very hot and sunny, and the first time I’ve been over the Chase this year when it’s been pretty much dry.

I felt a bit more confident as the ground was drier, so pushed myself a bit more, going faster, braking less. Unfortunately, as a result, I have come out of the weekend slightly injured.

My first minor injury was a result of my greatest feat so far – on Saturday, I actually cycled all the way up the fire road hill. Admittedly, I was very slow (lowest gear possible, or ‘Granny gear’ as Mr Toast calls it), but I had a huge sense of accomplishment when I got to the top. I had a little sit down, admired the view, and set off again. As I was still in granny gear, however, the pedal span round a bit quick and scraped my leg. Yes, I am indeed a pro.

The second was on a wooded section – there’s a short but steep uphill, with a nasty root at the top. There was a small child with two guys waiting at the top, so I attempted it. I nearly made it…but then my bike skidded backwards, and I capsized at the bottom, scraping my elbow and banging my shin. The small child (he was no older than 8 ) then proceeded to defeat what had just conquered me. Oh dear…

The third injury was today – I was going down Ill Phil’s Hill (or section 14, to give it its official name), and I was going down the last big descent. I picked my line a bit iffily, and, unused to dry sand, skidded. I didn’t come off completely, but my bike skidded slightly underneath me and I caught the back of my calf on the chain ring.

Despite all that, I feel that I did well over the weekend – two entire laps faster than I’ve ever done them before (including two lots of the fire road hill!). Woot!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog, bits of green

Highlights: Just the overall sense of getting better – taking the jumps without hesitation on the new section, cycling up the fire road instead of pushing up it, taking the berms a bit better.  Overtaking people!  And of course, section 13.

Bad bits: Falling off, although its never as bad as you think it’s going to be.  Getting pwn3d by a small child who’s biking skills far surpass your own. That is as bad as you think it is.

Post ride food snaffled: Ham and cheese sandwich and honeycomb ice-cream.

Good dogs seen: Lots, including plenty running with their biker owners – spaniels, jack russels, and something that looked like a cross between a schnauzer and a spaniel.  Oh my!

On the Bank Holiday weekend, we sallied forth to Mr Toast’s homeland of North Yorkshire. Whilst in the region, we decided to visit Dalby. Well, it would be rude not to.

I should point out that Dalby and I don’t have a very happy history. We went there last year, and I hired a bike from Purple Mountain. The bike, a Kona Fire Mountain (I think), was pretty poorly maintained with a fork that just would not move, and the blue trail was fairly dull – pretty similar to the green trails around Cannock Chase, except for the tricky zig zagging ascent at the start.

Well, I was determined that I’d approach it with an open mind. Being realistic, I knew that there was no way I could do the full red, which clocks in at about 24 miles. Mr Toast however, was itching to give it a go and put his Commencal Meta 5.5 (henceforth known as ‘The Grasshopper’) through its paces. The cunning plan was that I’d do the most of the blue route, and a small part of the red route at the end. So, as we reached the top of the zig zagging hill, we went our separate ways – Mr Toast down the scary steps of the red, and me up the gentle uphill of the blue.

The first niggle that I had was that as I came to a junction, there were no signs as to which way the blue route went. There was a downhill fire road to the left, and two uphill paths – a fire road and something a little rockier – to the right. I took the rockier one, thinking it would be more interesting. It wasn’t really, it wasn’t particularly interesting – just a long, steep uphill, leading to more fire road.

I stuck at it, eventually picking up some blue arrows at various points. Most of the ride was pleasant enough, but fire roads…meh. The long, straight uphill sections were a pain in the arse (well, the knees), and so dull. But there were some very bizarre sections, where I’d find a blue arrow pointing down a very steep hill – far steeper than anything I’ve tried at Cannock Chase, even on Follow the Dog. Fortunately, they were fairly suitable for noobs – there were no roots or rocks to contend with, it was just a matter of getting the weight back and steering!

These were by far the most fun parts of the ride…but sadly there was only two of them, lasting 3 minutes in total, tops. 🙁

I’m still not sure if I actually did the blue route – the markers I were following were a white circle with a squat blue arrow on, but at one point I came to a sign next to one of the markers saying ‘If you are following the blue route, you have taken a wrong turn’! Makes me wonder if the signs I followed were just generic bridleway markers. At one point I followed them up a steep hill…then up another steep hill…then up a steep uphill road…and then there was a t-junction with no signs at all. On the plus side, doing the 20 minutes uphill journey in reverse in less than 5 minutes was fun!

I should probably learn to read a map, or something.

I never actually went on the red, as I was worried about getting lost, and also about the capability of the bike I had hired, again from Purple Mountain. It was an upgrade from last year (this one was a Kona Blast Deluxe), but the fork was still very, very stiff. The perils of riding a standard ‘man’s’ bike with a cheap not-really-very-adjustable fork, I suppose. It’s a shame, because otherwise the bike was a good fit.

I did ask about hiring a full suspension (a Kona King Kikapu), but alas, the smallest they did was a 16″, which was a bit too long for me. 🙁 I think it was a good job I didn’t attempt the Dalby red though, as Mr Toast said that parts of it were very tough – even on the Grasshopper! Given that I still pootle around Follow the Dog at a rather sedate pace, I should probably get my skills (and fitness) up before I try Dalby.

Ride: Dalby

Trail: Dalby….blue. I think…

Highlights: Some awesome views and the sense of exploring, some exciting steep downhill bits of trail

Bad bits: Dreary, dreary fire roads, and a general lack of signage for the Blue route. Oh, and the café running out of milk.

Post ride food snaffled: Chocolate chip cookie

Good dogs seen: Some charmingly elegant spaniels, and a trio of Cairne terriers (each one a different colour).

Yesterday’s ride was awesome. Today’s ride was rubbish, as I forgot the ibuprofen. Still, I got a couple of sections in – didn’t spend all day, as I took my mother shopping in the morning, abandoning Mr Toast to his own devices for several hours. His ‘own devices’ consisted of three laps of FTD, and the first couple of sections with me before my knees gave in.

I had such an AWESOME time today. I think it’s the best I’ve ever ridden, seriously. I did an entire lap of Follow the Dog, and I think I actually shaved a good 10 minutes off my previous best time.

I made sure I was dosed up on ibuprofen, and set off. First section – didn’t stop once, and took all of the berms. Second section I took less well, and nearly flew off like a tard at the end of the bridge (didn’t slow down enough/turn fast enough). Third section I took fairly well, although I avoided the boardwalk due to there being an instructional class walking up and down it – they did say ‘go ahead’, but I didn’t want to do the boardwalk with an audience!

Then there was the fireroad hill. God, I hate it so much, and sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever manage to get up it on a bike. Mr Toast has suggested that I should promise myself a new bike for when I finally manage it. I may have my Trek for some time…

But the fun part of long uphills is that there’s inevitably downhills. I decided to take the older, shorter section instead of the new one, and I was glad I did. I used to avoid this section, as the first time I went down it, I came off. Twice. It terrified me. Today, I flew down it – admittedly, I nearly came a cropper on one berm, but I was impressed (and surprised) at how much I had improved.

The woody sections leading up to Section 13 were also a lot of fun, but tiring, especially on the knees, although I actually (drumroll please!) overtook someone! Section 13…a lot of fun, as usual, and I really did go hell for leather (by my standards, anyway). I laid almost completely off the brakes, got right out of the saddle, I remembered Mr Toast’s tip about angling my feet so they wouldn’t bounce off the pedals on the bumps.

Before Section 13, I was thinking, “I’m feeling a bit iffy, I’ll do Section 13, then head back.” After Section 13, I was re-energised, and decided that stopping was actually the worst idea ever. To Ill Phil’s Hill!

I was ropey on the uphills (ok, ok, I put the ‘push’ into ‘push bike), but on the downhills – again, I got right back off the saddle, laid off the brakes and flew down. I also went stupidly fast (for me) on the wooded section after Ill Phil’s Hill.

So, I felt a lot more confident and speedy, but my fitness is still causing me to take long breaks. Got to get that fixed.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Doing all of Follow the Dog faster and better than I ever had before. Taking bits which I used to be terrified of with ease. Basking in the smug glow of self-improvement.

Bad bits: None, apart from my appalling lack of fitness!

Post ride food snaffled: Chocolate shortbread.

Good dogs seen: Oh god, where to begin? Numerous Jack Russels, including Zack (I think – the dog who FTD is named after), and two tiny, adorable dalmation puppies. SO SWEET!

I should also point out that, as good as my performance was today, Mr Toast actually did two laps in the time it took me to do one.

Spent rather a lot of time up the Chase today. It was a Singletrack demo day, so I tool the opportunity to try out some new rides – the Specialized Safire Expert, and the Giant Anthem W.

Got to Birches Valley just after 11am and the carpark was PACKED. It took two circuits before we were lucky enough to drop on a space – I’ve never seen it that busy before! The first bike I tested was the Specialized. The Specialized guys were great, really thorough in setting the bike up for me, making sure the rear shock and forks were of the appropriate squodginess, and explaining how they worked and the different settings (knowledge which I needed, as I have a hardtail with a basic fork). They even got a different saddle for me with a shorter seatpost, as I tend to have mine so low because of being a noob.

The Safire rolled really nicely, and the suspension was smooth as butter. However, I was a bit disheartened that it had the turning circle of a rusty piano. At the time I thought I’d somehow forgotten how to steer, but Mr Toast explained to me that they do turn slowly because of the ‘slack head angle’. Again, the handlebars were quite a bit wider than I’m used to, so it did feel very sluggish on tight corners. I think it’d just be a matter of getting used to it, perhaps – the long swooping sections were awesome fun.

Unfortunately, we arrived at the Chase late, and as mentioned earlier, the Specialized guys were very particular, so it meant I had less than half an hour on the bike. I would have loved to have taken it on Section 13 or Ill Phil’s Hill, but only managed the first three sections. But I wanted to get it back so it wasn’t late for the next person, and in any case, I had the Giant booked. 🙁

Which brings me to the Giant Anthem W. The Giant stand was quite amusing, with a forlorn-looking Basset Hound called ‘Wilma’ moping around. Wilma was being kept under close supervision, as apparently she had earlier gorged herself on the stand’s supply of Nutrigrain bars. The bikes were also named, rather than numbered. The standard bikes were called things like ‘Trixie’ and ‘Roxy’, whereas the women’s bikes were more sensible named ‘Albert’ and ‘Alfie’. I was waiting for Alfie. And I kept waiting.

Wilma, the Giant Dog

Unfortunately, Alfie came in over half and hour late thanks to his previous rider, which meant that after the bike had been cleaned and set up, I had twenty minutes on it. The Giant chap confidently assured me that the Giant Anthem had better suspension than the Safire, and that I’d find it more responsive. He also mocked how low my saddle had been on the Safire. “Your knees were be up by your ears!” I explained that I have the saddle low as I’m fairly new to mountain biking, so want to be able to get my feet down quickly, plus I find it easier to move my weight* around with a lower saddle. He didn’t seem convinced.

The Giant…well, me and the Anthem didn’t make friends. I felt a bit more comfortable with the geometry than the Safire, and the handlebars were narrower, like my Trek. However, the thing road like an epileptic donkey. It was very, very twitchy, and I found taking tight corners even tricker than the Safire, but for the opposite reason. The bike was also skidding and sliding all over the place, and I thought, ‘Holy crap, I haven’t felt this uncomfortable on a bike since I first started biking’. As I finished the test ride, I realised that the source of my woes was probably that the tyres were pumped to a far higher pressure than I’m used to, as well as being narrower. I think someone who’s more experienced and a lot speedier would probably get more out of it than I did, but I was just left pining for my £400 hardtail.

The café was packed, so my lunch consisted of a lonely Tunnock’s Teacake. 🙁

In the afternoon I did the Dirt Divas course. If you’re thinking about doing one of these, DO IT! It was fantastic – I was in the intermediate group with Jacqueline, and I learnt a surprising amount in two hours, and performed my first (very small) jump over a branch. Unfortunately, after a morning of intense test riding, my already feeble levels of fitness started to flag, and my knees were KILLING me. I’ll definitely do a Dirt Divas course again, but I’ll wait until I’ve upped my fitness levels first! I went to the café, utterly paggered, for a slice of cake and a nice cup of tea.

I desperately wanted to sit down and to drink a non-Camelbak beverage, as I’d started to feel rather nauseous, but I was waiting for my tea. Unfortunately, it took a while, and I ended up throwing up. In public. In the café. On the plus side, I actually managed to hide it as a cough, contained it in my hand, and grabbed some serviettes. Stealth vomiting skills – a new talent!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Dirt Divas training session, trying out different full suspensions, pushing myself to the very limits of my fitness

Bad bits: Pushing myself the limits of my fitness to the point where I throw up in public, having my Anthem test ride time cut very short thanks to some cow returning it late.

Post ride food snaffled: Lemon drizzle cake

Good dogs seen: Just Wilma, I think

You may recall I mentioned that Mr Toast was keeping his eye out on an Orange 5 on Ebay. Well, it kind of played out like this:

1) Mr Toast bid on the bike. He then went on a bike ride, thinking he’d be able to keep check on the auction with his snazzy 3g phone. Sadly, there’s no signal in Cannock Chase, so he couldn’t.

2) Mr Toast found out he’d been out bid…by £1. He was a bit put out.

3) Mr Toast put a thread up on Bike Radar, to see if anyone was flogging an Orange 5. Someone responded – they were selling their Orange 5 to fund an upgrade to a Nomad. The spec was remarkably similar to the one Mr Toast had missed out on, but a 2006 instead of a 2004, and a slightly worse headset. They were also asking £450 more than the bike Mr Toast had missed out on.

4) Mr Toast asked questions, and started to get suspicious. As it turned out…IT WAS THE SAME BIKE! The cheeky sod had outbid Mr Toast on Ebay, removed the Chris King headset, then tried to flog the bike as a newer model at a much higher cost!

Mr Toast was distinctly unimpressed and told him where to go. He still doesn’t have an Orange 5. 🙁

OK, so the BBC were right this time. Woke up Sunday morning to find everywhere under a blanket of snow. But we decided to go biking anyway!

Needless to say, it was again ‘a bit nippy’, but it was also a lot of fun. I actually did a full lap of FTD, including the new section at the top of the fire road hill. Most of the sections I really enjoyed, and felt I put in a passable performance.

Unfortunately on the new section my confidence took a bit of a knock – I took the first two jumps fine, mainly because I wasn’t expecting them. However, I bottled it on the following jumps (as I was looking out them). It’s something I’ve noticed a lot – there are obstacles that I have trouble with mentally (berms, jumps), but if I don’t think about them too much I can do them. Weird.

I also started to panic that I was holding people up…and I didn’t much fancy someone’s front wheel parking itself in my arsecrack. It’s quite difficult to get up much speed when you’re looking out for people behind rather than at the track ahead! That said, I had a great time on all the other sections, and everything’s a learning experience – I remember last year that I felt pretty similar on most of the sections!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Doing all of Follow the Dog for the first time this year. Biking in ze mud! My Camelbak not tasting like a swimming pool. And section 13, oh how I’ve missed thee!

Bad bits: Losing my bottle on the new section.

Post ride food snaffled: Bacon sandwich, chocolate shortbread.

Good dogs seen: Er, none. Think they were all curled up by the fire, nice and cosy.