Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition

I’ve been pondering getting a Trek Fuel, mainly because I love my little Trek hardtail so much.  I tried a couple of Giants and Specializeds WSD bikes last year, and wasn’t really blown away, so I’m eager to try a Trek full-susser.

Unfortunately Mr Toast keeps mithering that the Treks this year are a bit overpriced.  He keeps suggesting that I should test blokes bikes…and pointed out the Fuel 8 actually has EXACTLY the same  geometry on both the women’s and bloke’s version, just a different paint job.  I checked the Trek site…and whaddya know, he’s right.  Not that I doubted him for a second…

I wondered if they’d made a botch up, and accidentally listed the same details, in the same way Scott’s website listed their entry level sussers as being the same weight as their top of the range carbon jobbie.

I checked the 4500 regular and WSD geometry listings, and those are different.  So, I’m sending a quick mail to Trek, asking them if it’s a mistake, or if their full sussers are, in fact the same for both his and hers.

And I’ve just realised I’ve written an entire post about bike geometry.  Shoot me now.

Going nowhere

No, I’m not dead.  Sadly, I’m still not zipping around the woods yet, either – the left knee is still decidedly wonky, and needs some strengthening.  Unfortunately, cold weather doesn’t do my joints any good, so there is only one solution…and it’s now sitting in our living room.

Yes, thanks to the Toast in-laws, we are now the proud owners of a very nice exercise bike.  Unlike the previous pile of crap I bought from Argos, this one is magnetic, the pedals actually turn (smoothly, and with decent floor clearance, if you can believe it!), and  it doesn’t feel like it’s going to fall over if you go hellbent for leather on it.  So, I’m hoping that I can use it to build up the muscles in my legs, strengthen my knees, and generally improve my fitness, so I can throw myself into proper biking when the sun eventually emerges.

I’m still looking to get a full-susser this year.  Apparently full-sussers are less jarring on the joints, so I need one for medicinal purposes.  It’s not so I can have an easier time of it and compensate for shoddy technique with extra travel.  No sir.

Got a few demo days coming up and marked on the calender for this year.  I’m not sure what to try.  My hobbit-like stature continues to infuriate me – I’m too small for the majority of ‘small’ bloke’s bikes, which severly limits the brands available to me, or to women-specific bikes.  And although I’ll confess, I tend to prefer the look of lady bikes, I resent having to pay more for a smaller frame and a prettier paint job – there’s just less choice, and less competition.

22 – 25/08/08: Dirk & Myndy

Despite frequent visits to the Shropshire Hills whilst organising the wedding, we’ve never actually been biking there. So, as the deed is now done, Mr Toast and I decided it was high time we paid a visit with our bikes in tow.

Admittedly, on the Saturday we didn’t actually bike around the hills – we took a 30 mile journey to Coed Llandegla (or ‘Dirk Diggler’, as Mr Toast took to calling it). I’d asked about on the Bike Radar forums about the difficulty, and decided to give the red route a go. It was fantastic! There was a lot of climbing, but it wasn’t as steep as Glentress, and was more contoured. I actually found Llandegla easier than Follow the Dog – it wasn’t quite as tight and was a lot more flowing, and the berms were full of Bermy Delight™. The only parts that gave me trouble were the second north shore (did most of it, but it doesn’t half sap your momentum), and a short but very steep downhill just before the end. Annoyingly, I’ve ridden worse, but I just felt so knackered by that point my brain just said, ‘No’ as I looked down. It wasn’t so much the gradient but the rocks that freaked me out. Again, general lack of fitness and a slight cold hampered me (to the point where I threw up at the top of one hill), but it was still great fun (the route, not the throwing up).

Llandegla chappie

On the Monday we sallied forth to the Long Mynd for a short ride. It was beautiful, but ridiculously windy, and I nearly got buffeted into the heather a couple of times. As with most bridleways, there was a copious amount of crap (in the literal sense, of the sheep and horse variety) to avoid. I thought I’d dodged most of it, but when I finished the ride, there was a flattened wodge of horse crap on my saddle. -_-

Ride: Coed Llandegla/Long Mynd

Trail: Llandegla – full red/Long Mynd – short pootle across (about 5 miles or so)

Highlights: Llandegla – bermy goodness

Bad bits: Horse shit -_-

Post ride food snaffled: Minstrels

Good dogs seen: Miniature schnauzer (very dignified, probably called Professor McFluffersons or something), a staffie that grunted like a piglet, various elderly looking but spritely wire haired mutts of indeterminate breed.

long_mynd.jpg

17/08/08: My other ride is a zombie car

Eugh, cars.  Or more accurately, “Eugh, my car”.  It recently started to cough, splutter, and lose all energy – a bit like Mr Toast in the height of hay fever season.  Fortunately with Mr Toast, we can look at him and say, “He has hay fever!  Let’s give him antihistamines and have his asthma medication on standby!”

What happens with my car when anything goes wrong?  It stays in the garage for a couple of days, and then they say, “Well, we can’t find anything wrong with it, but there’s definitely something wrong”.

This has now happened twice, at two different garages.  It’s like Nissan used strange alien technology to build the Micra.  “Hey Hiro, put that…thing in there.  You know, next to the…other…thing.  I don’t know what it does, but it makes it go bruum!”

Anyhoo, bringing this post dangerously back on topic, it means that there was AN ENTIRE WEEKEND WITHOUT TRAIL RIDING.  Just after the aforementioned weekend, I got my car back with a new fuel filter and a tank full of Redex, which worked for approximately five days before returning to a spluttering unpredictable mess.  Deciding to risk it, we set off to Hammerwich in the zombie car, our carbon footprint visibly pooting out of the exhaust.

We stayed at my mother’s on the Saturday, and went for our ride on the Sunday.  At the unholy hour of 9.30am, might I add – Mr Toast was meeting up with some of the Chase Trails forumites for an explore of the Chase.

I settled for…Follow the Dog (yes, I’m horribly predictable).  Only this time, as we were parked at the other car park, I started on section 13 – an interesting start to the day for someone who’s not a morning person.

This ride was a mixed bag.  On one hand, I felt that I took a lot of stuff with a bit more technical prowess than usual.  On the other, it took me a lot longer than usual to complete a lap.  That said, I did have a Swinnerton’s stop after four sections (as I started from the other carpark), and got some water and hobnobs.

I also contemplated getting some clear glasses for eye protection – it was very muddy and I’ve now taken to wearing my contacts when biking, as I like having peripheral vision.  Unfortunately, all of the£14.99 glasses were too big for my peanut head, and I’m too much of a cheap ass for fork out any more cash than that for something that will essentially make me look like a twat.

Hmmm, I should probably time my accessory stops…

I also spent a lot of time between sections letting people pass – despite the ungodly hour and crap weather, it was actually busier than usual.  And, truth be told, I think my fitness might have dropped off a little – before the wedding I was going to the gym twice a week as well.  Still, nowt that can’t be remedied.

I had a top experience on section 8 (the longer route).  I was chased by a Staffordshire Bull Terrier – lovely, friendly dog, running with his biking owners.  However, as lovely as he was, it was also slightly disconcerting – in addition to worrying about him running into my wheels, I was riding as fast as I could, listening to the footfalls and heavy breathing of an unseen animal right behind me.  ACTIVATE PREY INSTINCT!!

I have never, ever ridden that section so fast.

In other news, I should be seeing a specialist on Tuesday about my knees.  Here’s to fully functioning limbs!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: FtD – long route, including the reopened section 16.

Highlights: Being encouraged to new speeds by a friendly Staffie

Bad bits: Riding for my life whilst being pursued by a snarling hellbeast

Post ride food snaffled: Had a bacon sandwich.  The Marquis Drive Cafe is rubbish.  On the other hand, the Visitor Centre and its staff are awesome.

Good dogs seen: Snarling hellbeast/affectionate Staffie

Glentress – ze overview

Well, we’ve been back from our honeymoon for a couple of days now, and we’re already missing Glentress. OK, we have broadband and our own fridge, but Leamington is so…flat.

Anyhoo, needless to say we thoroughly enjoyed biking north of the border. I didn’t attempt the red route – I was content to stick to the skills loop and the fantastic blue route, in an effort to get my confidence and basic skills up. I think it actually worked too – I even successfully tackled a skinny with a rocky finish:

OMGWTFBBQL337SK1LLZ!!1

Yes, I’m aware that a) The skinny is lower than a kerb, b) I look like a terrified hamster, and that c) I’m glued to the saddle. But that’s not the point! I gave it a go and didn’t die! Huzzah!

The cafe at Glentress, The Hub, is fantastic – really good food. Observe!

OMNOMNOMNOM

There was also a really good atmosphere there, with everyone talking about their rides, whilst sneaking covert looks at other people’s bikes. It’s interesting: the more you get into mountain biking, the more you look at bikes. Eventually, you stop looking at people and just look at their bikes, and end up branding them thusly: “Heckler dude”, “Yeti Guy”, etc.

On the penultimate day, I took some photos at the freeride park whilst Mr Toast decided to give it a bash. “Be careful!” I said, in a wifely fashion, and he said, “I will be, it’ll be fine!”. Then an ambulance pulled up, part of the course was sectioned off. Paramedics went in, paramedic came out, paramedic went back in with a leg brace, paramedics came out with broken freerider. Ouch.

Fortunately neither Mr Toast or I injured ourselves – yes, I even did some of the freeride course…gave the downhill boardwalk a miss though! Mr Toast tackled it with his usual aplomb though:

Mr Toast on the northshore

Aaaand here’s a few pictures of peeps that were a bit nifty at freeriding:
Weeee!

Weeee!

 

Weeee!

I’d really recommend Glentress to anyone who’s interested in mountain biking – there’s trails for all levels of ability, and loads of opportunities to hone and improve your skills in a controlled and pressure-free environment. And if downhill is more your thing, there’s the DH course Innerleithen just down the road, along with a black graded XC. One day, maybe! 😉

26/07/08: The airborne adventures of Missus Toast

Sweet merciful Zeus!

We’re currently in the second week of our honeymoon. Our first week was in Cyprus – we thought we might hire some bikes out, but as it was FIVE BILLION DEGREES…sod that!

I’m writing this post from a B&B in Scotland, just a few miles out of Glentress, and goddamn, I wish we’d got two weeks here! Quite apart from the B&B being beautiful, with friendly owners, a friendly dog, and great breakfasts, Glentress is rather good for mountain biking, believe it or not. 😉 The entire area is beautiful, and the biking trails are a dream come true.

Every trail I’ve done has been pure fun, even the green loops! The green loop is very gentle, but with some hairpin bends, and light undulation – a lot of fun when going at speed. It’s obscenely pretty, with a riot of purple and white foxgloves lining the route. The first part of the blue is a bit dull, as long uphill slogs always are (even with switchbacks), but once it gets going downhill…ruddy hell!

Considering the blue routes are supposed to be the stepping stone between the green and red, they’re actually pretty challenging, and there were parts that gave me more pause for thought than anything on Follow the Dog – drop-offs, table tops, etc.  Still, no-one can say I wasn’t warned:

Brucie!

Yesterday was a bit rough for me, as I went out without any of my precious ibuprofen. As regular readers may know, for me this is about as smart as when Icarus thought that getting a closer look at the sun was a good idea. Today, however, I went prepared, and had a great time (once I got up all the sodding hills).

I felt a lot more confident and comfortable going down the blue today, and was tackling the drop-offs, berms and tabletops with ease. I got a little too confident, and decided to jump a table top.

To my credit, I did get airbourne. Very airbourne. My smug grin turned to panic, however, as my feet came off the pedals, the bike started swinging sideways to the right, and the pedals smacked me in the knee . There are some people who actually do this as a stunt when they freeride. I’m not one of them.

Luckily, I managed to swing the bike back, land in an upright postion, get my feet back on the pedals and carried on as if it was intentional…possibly even in that order. I had a small river of blood on my knee, but I felt strangely exhilarated. I got air and didn’t die!

Anyhoo, that’s all from me for today, the internet connection is a bit slow here (using Mr Toast’s mobile as a modem), so I’ll add photos and the like when we get back.

Married!

Well, we got married! I didn’t realise how strong our reputation as a ‘biking couple’ was until it got mentioned in the groom’s speech, my brother’s speech (stepping in for my late dad) and the best man’s speech (who pointed out the first time he met me, I fell with great gusto when I hit a kerb – although he did point out that I just got straight back on again…thanks Jag!).

And there was also the matter of the cake, made by my mother-in-law…

 

Cake!

 

Top stuff!

 

We’re off on honeymoon on Wednesday – going to Cyprus for a week, then off to Glentress for a week of mountain biking.  Who’d’ve thunk it?

05/07/08: One for the road…

…Yeah, OK, so I said I wouldn’t do any more red route before the wedding, but surely a leetle bit of Follow the Dog couldn’t hurt?

Well, I did all of FtD in about 1 hour 15 minutes, shaving 15 minutes off my previous best…and considering that when I started doing FtD this year, it was taking me two hours, I was well chuffed!

I’m still not tremendously fast – the main improvement is not taking such long breaks between sections. However, any improvement is good, so…yar! It was a top ride to end my mountain biking career as an unmarried wench.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: All of FtD in record time

Highlights: Getting halfway up the fire road hill before realising that I was in the middle ring instead of the granny ring, finishing the lap in record time.

Bad bits: Flaking out at the top of the fire road hill. Damn thee, knees!

Post ride food snaffled: Didn’t actually eat anything at the café after the ride, as it was closed.

Good dogs seen: Some good jack russells with high quality head to body ratios.

22/06/08: Pootle

On Saturday Mr Toast and I decided to pootle around Cannock Chase’s green routes, as I’m a bit wary of disfiguring injury so close to our wedding and honeymoon – I don’t want to look like a battered wife! 😛

For a change, we parked at Marquis Drive and set out from there. The green route was actually a lot of fun, with quite varied scenery and some really beautiful parts – less ragged by timber felling and the like. It was ridiculously windy in parts though – at the top of one hill, I could feel myself being blown sideways. Mr Toast has installed the lockout lever for the Rebas on my bike, and I really felt the benefit going up the hills. My knees felt quite battered on some parts though, REALLY need to get them sorted.

Anyhoo, we did the 20 mile loop, ending up near Marquis Drive. Despite my ‘no FTD a month before the wedding’ resolution, Section 13 was too tempting. As was 14. Er, and 15…

At the start of 14 I managed to misplace Mr Toast (he didn’t realise I’d headed up to Ill Phil’s Hill). Still, I was quite proud, as I managed, for the first time ever, to climb up the hill leading to section 14. I think the fact it had rained the previous day helped quite a bit.

Once I rejoined Mr Toast, we did the fireroad hill, the short downhill bermy bit (not sure if it’s still classed as section 8), then a couple of the woodland sections. Not bad for a day’s work.

I was actually really pleased with my riding around FTD, felt really flowing and consistent. I was also pleased with doing the green loop too – I don’t think I would have had the fitness to do it last year, never mind follow it with some red route action!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: 20 mile green route loop, sections 13, 14, 15, 8, 10, 11 and 12 of Follow the Dog

Highlights: Seeing more of the Chase, zipping around bits of FTD – everything really

Bad bits: My crap knees, causing me to munch a lot of ibuprofen.

Post ride food snaffled: Didn’t actually eat anything at the café after the ride, as it was closed. I did have a ham and cheese toasty before setting out, though

Good dogs seen: Lots and lots of jack russels

14/06/08: Pimp My Ride

‘Twas my birthday yesterday, and Mr. Toast gave me the most excellent gift of an upgraded bike! My V-brakes were replaced with hydraulic discs – Avid Juicy 3s, my Dart 2 forks replaced with Rebas, my pedals replaced with V8s, and my narrow Bontrager handlebars replaced with slightly wider Specialized handlebars.

bike_01.jpgbike_02.jpg

bike_03.jpgbike_04.jpg

The brakes were new, the rest of the stuff was remnants of Mr. Toast’s previous bikes – not that I’m complaining, he keeps his stuff in good nick! 😉

The new brakes were fantastic – it’s amazing how much confidence the ability to stop can give you! The slightly wider handlebars took some getting used to, but it generally made for a more stable ride. Forks were very smooth, but perhaps a bit too squodgy, so Mr. Toast is going to put a little more pressure in them.

My first lap was very slow. I’m not sure whether this is because I was getting used to the new bike setup, or whether I was just fatigued from doing more exercise than usual (I’ve started going to the gym, did a session on Friday night, but I my legs and knees were killing me, and I felt that I couldn’t really push myself.

Despite that, the first lap went pretty well, especially Ill Phil’s Hill. I was a bit disgruntled on the first section, as my flow was disturbed by ‘Harry’ – a large black dog lumbering around the end of the section. At least he stayed off the track, unlike one of his owners – a young boy who was walking up the track whilst his parents looked on. -_-

I started doing a second lap, and I was much, much faster. Again, my flow was disturbed near the end of the track – this time by a huge mass of fly covered horseshit, right on the berm. Nice to know that people pay attention to the ‘mountain bike only trail/bikes only/no entry’ signs. Ho hum. I tried biking up the fireroad hill – failed again – and my knees were screaming at me. So I decided to do on last bit of FTD, before exploring. Found an awesome path which was literally like a rollercoaster, and it made me want to explore more. Maybe next week – got to lay off the risky stuff before the wedding!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog – one and a bit laps

Highlights: The first three sections of the second lap, and having consistent braking!

Bad bits: Inconsiderate bastards on the track.  What, you can’t give the mountain bikers their one track, which they’ve built and maintained themselves.

Post ride food snaffled: Quavers and a chocolate muffin – the café had stopped doing sandwiches. 🙁

Good dogs seen: Meh, it was a bit barren for good dogs.  There was something that looked like a staffie/jack russell cross – he was nice.