06/12/2009 by Missus Toast.

Saturday marked the first time back on my bike since the ‘ribs’ incident, and bloody hell, didn’t my legs know it!  Rather than sliding across an increasingly battered FtD with no mud tyres, I went the way of cowardice and did the green route instead.

My legs felt pretty stiff as I started off, and I had the vague concern that I wouldn’t actually be able to do a full loop.  Fortunately, by the time I got to the road crossing near the start of section 13, my legs had loosened up.

The ride was a slightly surreal experience.  I swear I passed the same guy walking his dog about five or six times - I think there’s some sort of cloning facility over the Chase where they turn out slightly grumpy looking grey-haired chaps in wax jackets.   Spaniels also seem to be in vogue - I saw a lot of them.  Perhaps they’re the only breed that don’t mind the weather that much…there was also a HUGE dog that was the size of a pony, think it was some sort of mountain breed.  I also saw a woman in a small cart being pulled by a small pony (that was probably smaller than the aforementioned dog), which was OMG BEST THING EVAH!

Despite restricting myself to the green route, I still managed to get utterly plastered in mud.  I’d gone out wearing my normally glasses rather than my contact lenses/biking glasses combo, due to my left eye being a bit sore (fell asleep with my contacts in the previous day, doh!), and I quickly found that, although biking glasses make you look a bit like an insect - or even worse, a bit like Bono - they’re by far and away the most effect way of keeping mud out of your eyes!

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Green loop

Highlights: Getting back on the bike

Bad bits:  Weather’s a bit rubbish…

Post ride food snaffled: Tea, bacon sarnie and shortbread. Nom!

Good dogs seen: Giant bear pony dog, curly haired Airdale terrier type thing, Jack Russells, and looooooooooads of bouncy demented spaniels.

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22/11/2009 by Missus Toast.

OK, going to be a bit of a mammoth update, this one - got two weeks of babbling to catch up on!

Right, so I’d booked off the 9^th November as holiday.  I’d not done any biking the previous weekend, as I was trying to rest up and get rid of my cold (which was an epic fail plan, still feeling rough now!).  But I felt a bit stir crazy, so after dropping off Mr Toast at work, I headed to the Chase, Professor in tow.

It was interesting for several reasons.  Firstly, I’m fairly certain this is the first time I’ve been to the FtD on a weekday.  Secondly…well, normally on a weekend I’m not out of bed by 10am, never mind on my bike.  It didn’t get off to the most auspicious start – somehow during the journey I’d managed to get my iPod headphones threaded through the base rail of my car seat.  No idea how that came to pass, yet even though it had got mysteriously - and firmly – stuck, it couldn’t be freed.  Tried threading it back both ways, but it was lodged solid.  Eventually I lost my temper, started tugging at it and pulled the earbud clean off the wire.  No Slayer for me on the trails…

First lap was fantastic.  The sky was a beautiful clear blue, with sunbeams shining onto the trail through the trees – chilly, but sunny and still.  The trail was still very wet and slippy, and I’m still very, very cautious when faced with such conditions.  Despite going quite…OK, very slowly, I managed just over an hour by only stopping for five minutes.  Some of the trail was quite churned up on the later sections, with section 15 being particularly muddy.  Still, as I’ve said before, if you’re adverse to a bit of mud you should probably find another sport!

Went to the cafe, had some cake and a cup of tea, then got back on the bike.  Pootled around the greens for a bit, then hit FtD for my second lap.  The cunning plan was to ride FtD up until 13, do the full green loop, return to 13, and finish off the Dog.  It would be quite an epic day of riding for me, as I’ve not done that since the summer - normally because by the time we arrive at Cannock Chase in the winter we only have a few hours of daylight left!

Alas, the cunning plan didn’t quite work out.  Rode section 2 quite fast, and before I knew it, I was on the rocky exit.  Ah.  I think we all know where this is going…

There were numerous thoughts that hit me at the same time.  “Ooh, I’m here already”, “Ah, I’m approaching this at a slightly tight angle”, and “I haven’t got my weight back enough”.  Unfortunately, my reflex “BRAKE!” reaction kicked in, and I stopped dead with the front wheel down and the back wheel still on the top step.  Went to put my right foot down, couldn’t reach, got monstrous cramp in my calf, and toppled right.

It was quite impressive, really.  Somehow, I managed to smash my ribs on the wooden fence and ended up hanging over it like washing put out to dry, and my legs still entangled in my bike.  A bit like an upturned beetle, but with wheels.  I managed to disentangle myself and set myself upright.  There was no-one around, and I think it’s a testament to my vanity that instead of thinking, “Oooh, that could have been nasty if I’d hurt myself proper, there’s no-one around!”, I thought, “Thank god, I don’t think anyone saw that…”

I pondered trying to carry on, but I was worried that I’d get halfway over Sherbrook Valley and the adrenaline of having a tumble would wear off and I’d realise I was actually a bit battered.   Sat around for a bit, and realised that breathing was actually a bit painful, coughing even more so.  Decided to give it up as a bad job, and went home sulking.  I try and remember how much fun the first lap was, but my ribs still sting a bit even now!

On the 15th it was the last Big Build Day of the year, and despite the dire warnings of heavy showers, the weather was fairly reasonable.  There was a good turnout of people, letting us build a good chunk of track.  Toast and I turned up fashionably late, and had to locate the trail builders by ear - listening out for stomping, shovelling and sawing!  Dale and Sharon provided the food again, with delicious chilli and cheese jacket potatoes.

Progress was so good that we managed to finish off the bit of the trail that had been scheduled for the day, and move onto the next!  Hopefully Phase II will be on schedule for its Easter opening, but it will need people to make it happen - next Big Build Day is on January 4th (I think), and obviously there’s the standard build days every Sunday.

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08/11/2009 by Missus Toast.

This lurgy’s still knocking me around a bit, so I’ve spent most of today sleeping, eating, starting to write a guide to Follow the Dog, and working on a new poster for the next Big Build Day.

Quality’s a bit iffy, did the main image in Photoshop, but all of the text in InDesign.  Unfortunately, I’ve yet to figure out a way to save an InDesign document as an image rather than a PDF or .idd file, so I had to open the exported PDF in Photoshop, then save it out as a PNG - lost a bit of the text clarity, but it’s not too bad.Computer was chugging with the effort though, managed to get lots of one-minute Bejewelled bouts in on Facebook…

Not sure how coherent my FtD guide is either, I’ve been a bit spaced out today.  Nothing a nice cup of tea won’t solve though!

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04/11/2009 by Missus Toast.

This is the 100th post!  To celebrate, I actually went to the doctors, just like I said I would!  Turns out it’s bronchitis.

On the plus side, I have delicious antibiotics now, which will hopefully make me feel better by the weekend!

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01/11/2009 by Missus Toast.

Went biking yesterday with Mr Toast and Ovide in tow.  Ovide’s an interesting chap - doesn’t ride that often, and has a low end GT Avalanche that’s slightly too big for him with a terrible, terrible fork.  Yet the guy goes like a bat out of hell and has no fear, and goes straight over things without pausing - including Evil Root Number One!

Trail conditions are a bit slippy at the moment thanks to the recent downpours, which left me very nervy on corners.  I went slowish but steady, my fear of falling off outweighing my desire to wheel buzz the boys.  Watching Ovide’s wheels shoot sideways every now and again didn’t do much to encourage me, even if he seemed relatively unfazed.

Poor sod came a cropper on 10 though. The three of us set off, and Mr Toast and Ovide raced off.  I was riding at a respectable pace (honest!), but I thought I saw and heard someone behind me.  I carried on until I could find a suitable place to pull over and let them pass…and there was no-one there.  Wooooooooo, spooky.

I waited for a minute or so, decided I was obviously going mental, and carried on.  Shortly after I caught up Ovide, which surprised me.  He was right behind Mr Toast before, and quite ahead of me.  Obviously I’d managed to ride with BLAZING SPEED and radically decreased the gap between us! Or, Ovide had skidded out, caught his handlebar on a tree, and had been sent flying from his bike. That could have happened too.

At the end of the section, Mr Toast marvelled at how Ovide was close to having a full zombie costume for the evening - blood and mud splattered t-shirt and shorts.  Don’t think Persil will be getting that out in a hurry…

But fear not, for Ovide was able to resume the ride, after cleaning the wound with…cranberry juice.   It wasn’t a bad cut, just ‘a flap of skin that keeps on bleeding’.  Finished the ride in decent time without further incident , and a good time was had by all.  Huzzah!

I’ve still got a really nasty cough which makes it hard to breathe sometimes, and I’m still a little phlegmy.  I should probably see a doctor or something, but in the meantime I have Gray’s Herbal tablets.  They obviously have awesome medicinal properties, because they have an airdale terrier type dog on the packet.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Having a good ride, feeling fairly zippy

Bad bits:  Wishing I had ‘better’ tyres, which probably wouldn’t actually make any difference

Post ride food snaffled: Tea and a slice of cake.  Asked for lemon, got coconut, bleugh.

Good dogs seen: Much better this week!  Quality Russells of both the long and smooth haired variety, two huskies, a beagle pup, and a demented border collie that wanted to get a bit too facially-familiar with Ovide’s nether regions.

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31/10/2009 by Missus Toast.

Since I moved onto my current team at work…well, let’s just say I’ve gotten a bit porky*.  I have a chronic sweet tooth and lack of willpower at the best of times, but over the past year I’ve taken to snacking from the tuck shop quite a bit, especially over the past couple of months.  In  an effort to try and reign in my expanding waistline, I’ve started doing Weight Watchers again.

You work out your ‘Points’ according to your height, current weight and age, and level of daily activity.  My daily Points allowance works out at 18, which incidentally works out at two Yorkie bars and a Milky Way. AND NOTHING ELSE.

So, I’d been quite good, carefully logging my Points, and trying to go under by a point or two each day.  To be honest, this wasn’t too difficult as this bloody infernal cold had dimmed my evening appetite somewhat. So, on the Friday evening, I had Weetabix for dinner.

Next day we decide to head out to the Chase - after a couple of weeks also feeling sickly, Mr Toast was raring to get back on the bike.  As we were both feeling a bit off, we decided to ride together.

Unfortunately, due to a slight oversight, I sort of…skipped lunch.  It’s actually pretty rare I have lunch on a Saturday (or Sunday) before biking, and normally I’m OK.  Possibly due to an entire week of Twix fuelled calories still waiting to be burnt off…

On this particular day, however, I felt wretched.  Absolutely bloody awful.  Not only had I got a cold, but I felt as if I was riding through treacle.  Delicious, sugary…sorry, we were talking about biking?  Normally I can get at least halfway up the fireroad hill in the middle ring, but this time around I could barely get started in the granniest of granny gears.  I just felt very…slow, and my legs felt like lead.  I spent most of the time sat down, to the point where I felt I couldn’t ride the end of 8 because I couldn’t get out of the saddle - it just felt like my legs wouldn’t support me.  I had the will, but not the way. :s

I also felt very skittish on the trail.  I don’t know whether this is because there’d been a bit of rain, or whether it was because I was going too slowly, or whether I just felt it more because I was in the saddle so much.  I’m still thinking about getting some new tyres, just looking into what will give me good traction without being too slow rolling or heavy.

On the plus side, I rode the rocks again, and I’m definitely getting better at those last couple of steps on the turn onto the bridge.  I also made sure that the rest stops were kept to a minimum, and kept short - mainly for Mr Toast’s sake as much as my own!

Off to the Chase again tomorrow with Toast and his friend Ovide (not his real name), so hopefully I’ll have a better ride then. Certainly looking at my diet a bit more, might have to invest in some porridge…

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Riding the rocky bits

Bad bits:  Feeling generally arse

Post ride food snaffled: Cheese and Onion flavoured Discos.  No expense spared!

Good dogs seen: None really, bit of a drought

* Mr Toast took exception to me describing myself as ‘porky’, insisted that I wasn’t, and accused women of being mental.

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18/10/2009 by Missus Toast.

I was still feeling a bit rough today, but well enough to get out into the woods on the bike.  Sadly, the same couldn’t be said of Mr Toast, who had to stay at home with a large supply of Lemsip.

For me, it was a pretty good day, although I was a bit uncomfortable for most of it.  I started the ride desperate for a wee, but didn’t want to leave my bike unattended.  Deciding that I could hold on for an hour or so until I visited my mother’s post-ride, I set off. And yes gents, Freud was right.  Women do have penis envy - the ability to discreetly relieve yourself in the wilds is indeed a gift to be prized.

I rode the first couple of sections at a reasonable pace, and rode all of the Stegosaur without cocking up.  There were a lot of large groups out today - a few were groups of kids, many of whom showed pretty impressive skills.  After pulling over to let a speedy chap past on the end of section 7 (just before Evil Root Number One), a large group of adult riders approached.  I let them pass too, and eventually caught up with them on the fireroad up to section 8.  One of them turned around and said, “Are you Mrs Toast?”

It was Kangaroo (possibly not his real name), who we’ve met at previous Chase Trails events - most recently at the Christmas party a few weeks back, where we admired the stuffed animals.   He was leading the Bike Radar forum ride, and asked me if I wanted to tag along on the end.  So off I went, a little nervous that I was going to be holding people back, but…what was the worst that could happen?  And besides, some of them couldn’t ride Evil Root Number One either!

I followed them through section 8 - I didn’t ride it particularly well today.  It always seems to be this section that I get a bit skitty on when there’s been any raid.  On the plus side, there was no way I could chicken out of riding the end of 8 with that many people watching.  I kind of have this weird and utterly illogical policy with the exit to 8 - no-one around? I’ll ride it.  1-6 people around?  I’ll chicken out.  More than 6?  Well, this was the first time that situation had arisen, but I felt compelled to just go ahead.  And I did.  And as usual with every other time I’ve ridden it, nothing disastrous happened. Yay!

Followed them through 9-12 as well (some of them can’t ride Evil Root Number Two either…), but I was flagging a bit.  By this point I’d developed a nasty hacking cough, and was trying to discreetly trying to stop my nose from running with a casual wipe with the backhand of the glove.   At the start of 13 a lot of the forum chaps seemed to be heading back to their cars, so I carried on.

By the time I’d got to 14, I was really feeling the worse for wear.  Again, I was bringing up copious amounts of phlegm.  Unfortunately, as I’ve been raised with manners, and because I was worried about giving the local hedgehogs diseases (no really, that was what was literally going through my mind at that point), it went back down.  Eugh.  No wonder I’m still ill…

Actually struggled a bit getting up Ill Phil’s Hill, and was a bit spaced out on the remaining sections.  Nearly ploughed into the Stump of Indecision on 15, and my riding was a bit inconsistent - stupidly fast, then losing too much speed from braking.  If I’d taken it at a more steady pace, maybe I would have ridden it a bit smoother.  Didn’t do too badly on 16, just took it quite slowly though.

On the way back to Birches Valley I was aggressively pursued by a mid-sized brown mongrel, who was going for my left ankle.  Fortunately I had enough energy left to sprint away, and I was safe from Terrier Terror.

Although I’ve ridden better, I really, really enjoyed today.  I’ve been going a bit mental constantly stuck in front of a screen at work and at home, and my knees actually ache more when I don’t exercise.   I needed to get out, I just wish this bloody lurgy would bugger off so I can ride without hacking my guts up!

I turned up at my mom’s, had a cup of tea, she had a bit of a moan that I’d been out biking instead of taking her shopping or going for a meal, given that Al was at home.  She also pointed out something that I’d been completely oblivious to.

“Do you realise you’ve ripped the back of your shorts?”

The answer to that question was, “Why, no.  No, I didn’t know”.  It wasn’t just a little tear, it was a preeeetty large one.  Normally this wouldn’t be too bad…only today I wasn’t wearing cycling shorts.  I looked in the mirror, and, lo and behold, my right buttcheek was on display for all to see.  I scarily have no idea when or how it happened, so if anybody copped an unfortunate eyeful, you have my profound apologies!

Definitely might have to look into getting some new shorts soon…

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Riding the exit to section 8 with an audience and not screwing up.  Riding the stegosaur and not screwing up.

Bad bits:  Feeling ill towards the end of the ride…again.  The slightly worrying realisation that I might have flashed a load of blokes my arse.

Post ride food snaffled: Nothing immediately after the ride, but I did have a Thornton’s Caramel Slice from the garage on the way back home.  GODLY!

Good dogs seen: Spaniels!  Cairne Terriers!

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06/10/2009 by Missus Toast.

Been feeling rough again, can’t bloody shake this cold!  Didn’t go out at all this weekend, just stayed in with the sniffles and drank tea.  I missed being out on my bike, and I missed the Big Build Day.  I should probably eat more fruit, or something.  Or any fruit.

Mr Toast had some bad news - his carbon Zaskar is sadly dead. It’s never been quite right, always creaking, and he’s tried numerous things to try and sort it.  He eventually sent it back to be looked at…and they found out it had a manufacturing defect and was cracked.  They couldn’t get a replacement, so he got a refund.  And so ends his short-lived love affair with carbon - I think he’s going to wait for the manufacturing technology to become a bit more established.   Taking bets on what hardtail frame he’ll go for next!

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30/09/2009 by Missus Toast.

Yes!  I finally got a full lap in under 60 minutes.  OK, so last year I was doing 45 minute laps, but that was with a good few of the sections closed, so probably counts as cheating…

The main key to the much abbreviated lap time was the reduced stop time.  Previously I’ve been taking quite a long break (usually 10-20 minutes!) at the end of 2/start of six trying to get the courage to ride the rockery.  If there’s anybody about, I wait until they’re gone.  Given how busy the Chase is, this normally takes some time…

This ride, however, I just rode the exit to 2, shuffled straight into position for 6, and set off straight away.  I say shuffled into position, as I have the turning circle and skills of a rusty piano, particularly when rocks are involved. Still, a massive improvement on last week, and the more I ride it the more confident I get.  Got a bit cross on 6 as there was a large family walking on the second bridge – I give up, I really do.  I wonder if more signs are needed, if there are notable areas where walkers accidentally wander onto the trail (I’m sure there’s one mid-section on one of the sections), or whether people just wilfully ignore the signs and decide to go ahead anyway.  I’m not particularly maternal, but I’m fairly certain if I was in possession of a small child, putting them in the path of a fast moving mountain bike would be fairly low down on my ‘lists of things to do with the kids’.

Took a short break before and after the fireroad hill up to 8 – actually felt more knackered than usual due to racing through 1, 2, 6 and 7.  Rode 8, fluffed the last set of drops as I lost too much speed on the preceding turn.  Well, when I say fluffed, I rolled them but it was a bit clunky.  Didn’t ride the end of 8 again as there was a large family sitting at the end who all turned around and started at me as I approached it.  Meh.  The plus side of not riding the end of 8 (which is normally whenever there’s an audience) is that I’m normally too embarrassed to stop for a  break.

Rode straight through 9, 10, 11 and 12 (apart from Evil Root Number 2).  Hit section 13 with much gusto, but had to walk up the slope to the start of 14 as I completely lost traction and momentum trying to avoid some animal poop.  Had a short break at the start of 14, which is currently very sandy – I think it’s one of the few sections I prefer if there’s been a little rain.  Had another very brief break at the start of 15 to allow people who were already there to go on ahead, then went straight into 16.  Unlike last week, I rode it pretty well.  Not particularly fast or gracefully, but a lot more confidently, and no stupid clipping the handlebars on trees this week.

So, this is what I‘ve got to keep aiming for, along with actually tackling the stuff I keep bottling!

On a different note, I only got to ride the Sunday as the Professor was in for his (long overdue!) free service on Saturday.   The annoying creaking that I’ve been noticing over the past couple of weeks has been eliminated, although it seems to have been replaced by an equally annoying squeaking (brakes, I think).  Hopefully that’ll settle soon.  I still love the Professor though, he’s great.

We’ll be down the Chase again this weekend, biking on the Saturday, and building on the Sunday.  Yes!  Building!  It’s time for…BIG BUILD DAY!

Might have to do a movie style poster too soon…

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23/09/2009 by Missus Toast.

I was a bit dubious about Sunday’s ride as I started to feel a bit queasy on the way to the Chase.  This may possibly have had something to due with the sheer quantity of delicious curry and cake consumed the previous evening…

I felt a lot better once I got to the Chase and got on the bike.  I:

•  Went a lot faster than last week - even with a sizeable break to survey the start of 6 and 8, I was a good 30 minutes faster than last week…

• FINALLY rode the exit to section 2 - no stopping or hesitation. Both the Professor and I are uninjured.

• Took the jumps on 8 a lot better than usual - normally I come down a bit heavy on the front due to having the grace of a pregnant hippo, seemed to take them a lot smoother

On the downside, I’ve still not conquered Evil Root Number One - the fact the section was open took me by surprise.  It doesn’t look as…evil as I remember it though. :/  I also bottled it on the end of section 8, as there was a group of people sitting at the end - although I’m not sure walking the bike down is any less embarrassing than trying and failing.  Still frustrating as I’ve never actually failed the end of 8 whenever I’ve ridden it - I just need to keep tackling it on a regular basis instead of chickening out.

Evil Root Number Two is also unconquered - I keep on thinking I’ll just try it, but normally when I get there I end up feeling too weedy to try it.   This week was particularly bad as the aforementioned nausea returned with a vengeance, and I started coughing up copious amounts of phlegm.  Seems like the cold I’ve had for the past 2 months is still kicking about…

Rode 13, 14 and 15 fine.  15 no longer has the Stump of Indecision, as trail pixies decided to cut off the left hand route-that’s-not-actually-the-route.  Unfortunately I felt really weak and weedy by the time I got to 16 - rode it, but kept on having some silly moments, mostly involving pulling over to let people pass and trees.

I’ve just got to keep riding and pushing myself to do stuff that I keep avoiding.  And not eat twice my own body weight in food the day before a ride.  Or ever again.

Ride: Cannock Chase

Trail: Follow the Dog

Highlights: Riding the exit to section 2

Bad bits:  Feeling violently ill towards the end of the ride

Post ride food snaffled: Water, even thinking about food made me worse!

Good dogs seen: Two husky/malamute type things!  Spaniel puppies!  Lots of short-legged Jack Russells!

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